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Oh my god I do not think I canbegin to describe how my life has flipped,ok food is still theissue I guess its easier to controll what I eat than anything else in my life.well hubby is leaving I'm not sure if I feel relief or dread at present just odd,ate twice yesterday but left a satisfactory amount so glad I didnt over do the food .I did however take a max dose of laxatives just to make sure t didnt stay on me and am now proudly boasting a perfect 10 but am hoping to get to an 8 I cannot remember being that slim tho old photos do hint I once was.I've put all my old fat clothes on free cycle and charity shopped alot of them,all I hope uis by the summer I look good eough to eat lol.anaged to skip brekkie today having cups of tea to keephunger at bay with lots of water to wash everything through nicely.I seem not to of had the shakes or stomach cramps lately hopefully that will remain the case.

I dont wish to speak too soon but things are on the up,I am able to avoid most purgeing foods tho bread and pasta still make me sick I havent attempted chicken in so long I have forgotten what its like lol.This morning I woke at 3 am feeling hungry(a feeling I am not used to)So I had a biscuit with some tea then I had another with tea at 5am,really feel energy will be low today.I'm eating one meal a day which I am comfortable with some times I can eat a yogurt tho this does make me feel queasy.I havent dropped weight so much as I was and still find it difficult to look at my own body with out feeling disgust.My cousin is getting married soon and I really want to be there and have a good figure but at present still feel I am carrying too much baggage to look sexy.

I seem to of done well lately,I have been eating at least twice aday though not snacking much and not quite finishing each meal,the nausea thats plagued me for months is not quite as bad but has stopped me being able to eat 3 meals a day.The shakes are all but gone for the moment and I am able to get on with everything I have to,my energy levels are still quite low and I eat because I know I have torather than through hunger still only drinking water and tea cant bear to drink squash or fizzy drinks,but is that really a bad thing as I cannot imagine they are that healthy,I have only purged a couple of times since my last entry and only once was it intentional the others were a reflex my body seems to of gotten used to

I was doing so well on tuesday,I ate sensibly,possobly not as much as everyone would want me to of done.Then I had a drink of wine it all went to pot,I got drunk went to bed after purging,I had to get up several times to empty my stomach and had water too.On wednesday it was rediculous I ate a piece of toast with tea in the morning then had a sandwich with chicken paste in for lunch with 2 glasses of water then at dinner time I had burger and chips with 1 glass of water I had 2 cups of tea in the evening.Today I have so far had 4 cups of tea and 2 cups of water I have manged not to purge but havent been able to eat I hope to try something this evening.The weight is coming off fast I am having trouble hiding under baggy clothes now,I wish I could stop this now.